https://www.robyngraycounseling.com/blog daily 0.75 2023-02-20 https://www.robyngraycounseling.com/blog/if-its-not-a-hell-yes-then-its-a-no-my-thoughts-on-this-message-as-a-psychotherapist monthly 0.5 2023-02-20 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1634403056583-AJQ5DJJ435DTWTUB0J0L/nathan-dumlao-OKCCCbyon28-unsplash.jpg Blog - “If it’s not a hell yes, then it’s a no.” My thoughts on this message as a psychotherapist - It’s not natural to live in this kind of extreme. The message of “Hell yes or it’s a hell no” keeps us overriding our intuition and felt sense and simplifies human conditions that should not be simplified. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1616276929669-BHIS9DB1T4EPJK06F1NA/burst-aoN3HWLbhdI-unsplash.jpg Blog - “If it’s not a hell yes, then it’s a no.” My thoughts on this message as a psychotherapist - “Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from making bad decisions.” - Mark Twain https://www.robyngraycounseling.com/blog/what-is-brainspotting-how-does-brainspotting-work monthly 0.5 2023-02-20 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1612736368135-Z4ZKXXBT1W60EC546L7X/kazi-mizan-0G2ZxV31kk4-unsplash.jpg Blog - What is Brainspotting Therapy? How does Brainspotting work? - Both modalities are somatic-based (mind-body based) therapy and both are shown to be effective with the treatment of trauma. Therapy is not a one-size-fits all and everyone’s needs and preferences are different, so it’s impossible to answer the question whether one is better than the other. This preference is completely up to the individual and their needs as well as the quality of the therapeutic process. The key difference is that EMDR utilizes eye movements as a form of bilateral stimulation, while Brainspotting focuses the eye on a fixed gaze position. Another difference is that EMDR tends to follow a structured protocol in the treatment process using steps and stages, whereas Brainspotting is an initial set up that then allows for flexibility in the flow of the session. What I’ve heard from many of my clients who have had both EMDR and Brainspotting threapy is that they found Brainspotting to feel more “gentle” than EMDR. But again, that’s anecdotal evidence and not based on facts. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1612735564537-ZHIL1KKPIDXPTGSOYQF5/eric-ward-0MY-yTGQmDM-unsplash.jpg Blog - What is Brainspotting Therapy? How does Brainspotting work? - Have you ever felt yourself staring off into space or stuck looking at a specific spot when you are in deep thought? As if you are in a trance-like-state? Here’s the thing, we all brainspot throughout our days naturally, we just aren’t aware that this is what we’re doing. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1613349431780-FZQN2HHST8U9BXMBE7CV/christina-wocintechchat-com-mhmNmzxHBWs-unsplash.jpg Blog - What is Brainspotting Therapy? How does Brainspotting work? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1612736012635-S1DD35N843V4U73L5BW3/caroline-veronez-bbjmFMdWYfw-unsplash.jpg Blog - What is Brainspotting Therapy? How does Brainspotting work? All forms of trauma (PTSD and C-PTSD) Anxiety Attention issues (ADHD) Anger issues Grief OCD Phobias Negative core beliefs Substance abuse and addiction Chronic fatigue and chronic pain Impulse control issues Performance anxiety Sports performance issues https://www.robyngraycounseling.com/blog/what-is-the-point-of-meditation monthly 0.5 2023-02-20 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1613944367954-7J2U8X4AVXSCG60N68ZL/pexels-ivan-samkov-6799976.jpg Blog - How meditation can help you with burnout - I enjoy doing my meditation practice while lying down either on my bed, couch or the ground and I like to put a pillow under my knees and head so that the back of my body feels more supported. Find a position that works for you vs. forcing yourself into a position that is not comfortable. Ask your body what position will be most supportive for your meditation practice. Remember, sitting cross legged does not make you more enlightened or have a more successful meditation practice. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1613351777870-P17FCAYNI17FR95IS25O/isabell-winter-lzYZEDJ8fbo-unsplash.jpg Blog - How meditation can help you with burnout - Definition of Meditation The practice of meditation means to engage in mental exercise (such as concentration on one's breathing or repetition of a mantra) for the purpose of being in the present in the moment. The purpose is to learn to observe when your mind wonders and gently bring it back to your focal point (e.g. breath, voice of a guide, mantra, counting, imagery, etc.) Some use their meditation practice for spiritual awareness and growth. But meditation does not explicitly mean spirituality is apart of the practice. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1634405889112-GI6RMNIPQVPWEQUI9PDM/s-migaj-Yui5vfKHuzs-unsplash.jpg Blog - How meditation can help you with burnout - Meditation is no longer a practice reserved only for those seeking spiritual enlightenment. It has now become a mainstream activity and is often recommended by healthcare professionals, provided in businesses to employees and taught in schools. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1613370909024-NCK11QWKRCZ5SPZUM6XJ/eli-defaria-vCzh1jOyre8-unsplash.jpg Blog - How meditation can help you with burnout - How long do you have to meditate to get the benefits? You don’t have to meditate for 30+ minutes to receive the benefits of meditation. In fact, you only need to engage in a meditation practice for about 2 minutes a day to feel the benefits of meditation; this includes mindful practices such as mindful movement, “single-tasking” (aka “mono-tasking”), feeling present and grounding in the moment, etc. https://www.robyngraycounseling.com/blog/feeling-lonely-here-are-6-ways-to-help-you-when-youre-feeling-lonely monthly 0.5 2021-03-31 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1613284491751-A6U86SKPLNPS6EETKO11/edu-grande-JVpFGt8A520-unsplash.jpg Blog - Feeling lonely? 6 Ways to help when you’re feeling lonely - OK, so now that we know the causes and consequences of loneliness, what can we actually do when we feel lonely? Keep reading to learn 6 things that you can start doing right now to help you when feeling lonely. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1613284427328-LB1B9O55WP3QZ6N8Y6HL/soragrit-wongsa-fFLvryUiP64-unsplash.jpg Blog - Feeling lonely? 6 Ways to help when you’re feeling lonely https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1613284594295-9HD8JFE9KV87LYXHCTMI/joanna-nix-walkup-h3stFPAyn7E-unsplash.jpg Blog - Feeling lonely? 6 Ways to help when you’re feeling lonely - “Sometimes, you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere you find yourself.” https://www.robyngraycounseling.com/blog/what-is-trauma-therapy-and-how-does-it-work monthly 0.5 2021-03-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1612665618537-AQ2EG0D9AOG4X11A2QBA/rayul-_M6gy9oHgII-unsplash.jpg Blog - What is trauma therapy? How does trauma therapy work? - What are goals of trauma therapy? The client and the therapist work together to come up with goals for trauma therapy that are specific to the client’s needs and desires. As a therapist, along with my client’s goals, I am also focused on progress that includes an increase in feeling safe both with self and others, a decrease in body activation when thinking about the traumatic event(s), mood stability, increase in mental flexibility, increase in mental presence and an increase in personal agency and self-empowerment. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1612721496532-HTAIIKNHCBJMAUCL504R/kelly-sikkema-4le7k9XVYjE-unsplash+%281%29.jpg Blog - What is trauma therapy? How does trauma therapy work? - In addition to therapy, there are ways that you can help heal yourself if you are suffering from trauma. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1612665822676-XASOBG4KIQBB0ETP91KX/helena-lopes-PGnqT0rXWLs-unsplash.jpg Blog - What is trauma therapy? How does trauma therapy work? Remember, trauma is not your fault and how you are experiencing the symptoms of trauma are also not your fault - your body and brain are responding in a physiological way to make sure you survived and continue to survive. Although trauma is a part of life, it does not have to be a life sentence. You deserve help and support. We don’t heal in isolation and we also can’t think our way out of this type of psychological pain. I’ll say it again, you deserve help and support. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1612665697276-NXMA1NSLQF3BOB0CMAL1/eutah-mizushima-2TlAsvhqiL0-unsplash.jpg Blog - What is trauma therapy? How does trauma therapy work? “Being traumatized means continuing to organize your life as if the trauma were still going on—unchanged and immutable—as every new encounter or event is contaminated by the past.” ― Bessel A. van der Kolk https://www.robyngraycounseling.com/blog/how-to-quiet-the-mind monthly 0.5 2022-01-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1612154621678-HVUNL1W8LALGENO73EE8/motoki-tonn-ezOKZhYJAFo-unsplash.jpg Blog - How to tame your monkey mind - 1. Get in touch with your breath Connecting with your breath automatically brings you into the present moment, which helps to calm the mind. There’s no need to necessarily change or manipulate your breath, so take that pressure off yourself. Instead, by simply observing our breath in it’s natural effortless form, it automatically begins to slow down, which helps soothe the nervous system and calm the mind. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1612155372343-IPCFZ9LQHUPKC5Y5FGDN/marcos-paulo-prado-tcyW6Im5Uug-unsplash.jpg Blog - How to tame your monkey mind - Writing it down to help get it out of your head and off your chest, which can be a huge relief! We process from a different part of our brains when we write so this is another good intervention to help detach from your thoughts. If you are thinking about things and worried you’ll forget them, make a list so that you can reassure yourself that you will not forget. This helps us move our thoughts outside of us so that we can look at them vs. being internally flooded with them. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1612154825148-8VNICGFPSRB539NOT96C/erik-dungan-lNUi7W4iwok-unsplash.jpg Blog - How to tame your monkey mind - Get out of your head and into your body! Everything you think your body feels and everything your body feels affects the way you think. When we’re stuck in our heads, sometimes getting out of them is the best thing for us. Notice where you feel contracted or tense in your body. Take a few full breaths while being aware of this sensation. If you can, spend at least 90 seconds doing this part of the exercise. 90 seconds is roughly how long somatic (body) sensations last with full activation when connected to an emotion. Then … move your body. Shake it out, go for a walk, dance, stretch, bike, swim, run, sway from side-to-side, stomp your feet, push hard against a wall with open palms, jump up and down, etc. You get the point … do anything that gets you into your body and out of your head. After you do some movement check back in with your thoughts and notice if the quality of them has shifted at all. https://www.robyngraycounseling.com/blog/how-to-connect-with-yourself monthly 0.5 2021-10-17 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1611789505050-ER24SALT49OB59HTAGZ3/how-to-get-in-touch-with-yourself.png Blog - How to connect with yourself and why you need to for your health how to get in touch with yourself https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1634452017177-S5IU3T0E5DNB6W9MOXSK/priscilla-du-preez-a8pXN9_5R2M-unsplash.jpg Blog - How to connect with yourself and why you need to for your health - “External silence can be the doorway to inner silence.” - Ram Dass https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1611789466437-JZRF1SWBZF0LUI0WN6ZJ/how-to-feel-more-connected.png Blog - How to connect with yourself and why you need to for your health how to feel connected https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1634451319314-7CN2P0R8TFEP0KDZ3D17/mathilde-langevin-n6LcL-RWQNg-unsplash+%281%29.jpg Blog - How to connect with yourself and why you need to for your health - Take a pause to deepen your breath. Focus on expanding into your belly when you inhale and take slow, full breaths. As you exhale, try to soften your belly. Place one hand on their belly and one hand on their heart when doing this and just simply breathe into their palms. Allow yourself to just breathe naturally - let your body breathe for you. Observe where in your body you feel the breath. Track the beginning of the inhale and the beginning of the exhale. https://www.robyngraycounseling.com/blog/ways-to-be-mindful-without-having-to-meditate monthly 0.5 2021-02-17 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1612027440225-ZTI6HY8RLYAJBQMIGPF2/magne-7YbucaaJMG8-unsplash.jpg Blog - How to be mindful without having to meditate Here are 6 ways to have a mindful practice that have nothing to do with sitting in silence: https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1612027752973-9DMH77SZ4N9MP40AUMGD/sara-johnston-BJ_J_qMnOKo-unsplash.jpg Blog - How to be mindful without having to meditate Think of many of these exercises as ‘single-tasking.' Keep them simple and try not to overcomplicate the practice. https://www.robyngraycounseling.com/blog/how-to-calm-the-nervous-system monthly 0.5 2021-03-13 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1608232575651-USEE1UDUTKU1K4IURN09/calm-nervous-system.jpg Blog - How to calm the nervous system calm nervous system https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1612027373070-3U6V2F1AG1M1AXDVJCPI/how-to-calm-the-nervous-system.jpg Blog - How to calm the nervous system how to calm the nervous system https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1608232672302-FFVC9DM6O96KB6A5I8V0/how-to-calm-nervous-system.jpg Blog - How to calm the nervous system how to calm the nervous system https://www.robyngraycounseling.com/blog/holiday-celebrations-during-covid monthly 0.5 2021-01-30 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1612028748467-EJIED9KET7W5YRSZ7O88/kelly-sikkema-NU_rR7TgE-M-unsplash.jpg Blog - How to stay connected during the Holidays and COVID There are ways to stay safe while also honoring our primal need for connection. https://www.robyngraycounseling.com/blog/mind-body-exercises monthly 0.5 2020-12-08 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1607446741292-PVVC2NL6FPJ2W6FLF53O/mind-body-exercise.jpg Blog - Mind body exercises mind body exercise https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1607446833640-VAJNS5ICXDDEYVBQW807/mind-body-connection-exercise.jpg Blog - Mind body exercises mind body connection exercise https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1607446863271-J0JS8SOJSXGQ09FII866/mind-body-connection-exercises.jpg Blog - Mind body exercises mind body connection exercises https://www.robyngraycounseling.com/blog/nc2ntyxn4vwarn7ozoqu2wznjkk5np monthly 0.5 2021-01-25 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1606376884672-DTUOSGZN6JZGMQSVAQJ7/green-chameleon-s9CC2SKySJM-unsplash.jpg Blog - Not feeling Grateful? It’s OK, nothing is wrong with you. https://www.robyngraycounseling.com/blog/inner-child-meditations monthly 0.5 2020-11-17 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1605629256288-JT6P5VD9C4R5RI1L9C8Z/inner-child-healing-meditation.jpg Blog - Inner Child Meditations inner child healing meditation https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1605629417664-88QVV0R37RNIYX9ZDR87/meditation-for-inner-child.jpg Blog - Inner Child Meditations meditation for inner child healing https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1605629093532-WOHPFRKWZLSO6MM3M5ML/inner-child-meditations.jpg Blog - Inner Child Meditations inner child meditation https://www.robyngraycounseling.com/blog/managing-your-anxiety monthly 0.5 2021-02-03 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1611992336590-RDWAYBWTVDJCEL3R3NZ3/priscilla-du-preez-aPa843frIzI-unsplash.jpg Blog - 8 Tips to help manage your anxiety Anxiety is not your fault. That doesn’t mean you have to live with it controlling your life. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1611992075849-5T7B907ET4HPRDYMZ9V5/aki-tolentino-Wd5sfFBe4Ng-unsplash.jpg Blog - 8 Tips to help manage your anxiety - Our nervous system’s job is to keep us safe so that we can continue to live. It does this by constantly accessing our environments and interactions with others to see if we are safe or threatened and then communicates this assessment to our brain. All of this happens in less than a second after we’re exposed to a situation and our brains don’t make meaning until about 1/2 second after the NS reaction. The thing is, our nervous systems have not caught up to most real-time threats; the nervous system still reads a most daily threats as if a lion is in the room with us and is ready to pounce and kill. So sometimes we are experiencing that high level of anxiety when in fact we are not in this level of a threatening situation. https://www.robyngraycounseling.com/blog/healing-for-your-inner-child monthly 0.5 2021-01-30 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1612029069790-FFENLCWIW53ZQ1H8DSA4/derek-thomson-M1jCmRxO7cY-unsplash.jpg Blog - Healing for your Inner-Child https://www.robyngraycounseling.com/blog/befriending-our-challenging-parts monthly 0.5 2021-01-30 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1612029273014-8BL62ECP4CSPQS6RUOEW/pexels-vlada-karpovich-4050344.jpg Blog - How to stop judging yourself - So how do we move away from self judgment to a place of befriending the challenging parts of us? It might feel counter intuitive at first but here are a few steps to start the process: Use the behavior or reaction that you are judging as your “trail head”. Set aside your judgement and get curious as to what triggered your response - follow the event down the trail to learn more about what got you to this place. Notice what thought, emotion, physical sensation, etc. activated you? Name it. Naming how you are experiencing the thought or emotion in your body. Naming it can help tame it. Acknowledge that you are experiencing something big inside that's challenging you. Notice where in the body it feels most evident or present, if anywhere (ok if you don't notice anything.) Ask this part (thought/feeling) how old it feels (younger, perhaps?) Ask this part (thought/feeling) what it’s function is right now. What is it trying to do for you? Ask this part (thought/feeling) if there's anything it needs from you right now. Thank the behavior, thought, feeling or sensation for trying to ultimately protect you; this step is an invitation for you to acknowledge the function/intention of the activation around the trigger even if nothing came to you in that step (often these more difficult parts of us are there for protection in some way or another). You might also ask it to keep doing this for you (protecting you) but maybe in a less intense way. See what comes up after you reflect on this step. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1612029164283-4LGGATCGA46X12MB2VNR/ben-white-9O1oQ9SzQZQ-unsplash.jpg Blog - How to stop judging yourself - If we’re being honest … We've all been there at some time or another. And, it can be difficult to not judge ourselves in these moments and beat ourselves up only to feel worse. If we get stuck in the cycle of judging ourselves it can lead to us feeling paralyzed by our shame. https://www.robyngraycounseling.com/blog/about-that-good-nights-rest monthly 0.5 2021-02-07 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1612030729514-S2LB2TCRWHBBPBW6QS7B/pexels-ba-tik-3754299.jpg Blog - How to sleep better. Tips for optimal rest. - The truth is, unfortunately, there is not a one-size-fits-all model to fix sleep issues. There are many reasons people can’t sleep at night and everyone's experience is unique to them. Whether the reasons for your sleep issues are medical, physical, mental, emotional, environmental or situational, there are; however, tools and practices that can help improve your sleep. The good news is there are some things that can help support a healthier sleeping environment (both internal and external), which can help reduce the suffering around our sleep issues. I often compare these tools to when we are ill; we tend to, hopefully, nurture ourselves more when we don't feel well. We hopefully allow more time for rest, dress in more comfortable clothing, eat nourishing foods and lay with our favorite blankets and pillows. These things don't necessarily take away the illness, but they help comfort us during times of difficulty helping to reduce our overall suffering. When we provide ourselves an environment during times of suffering, we're offering self-compassion, which inherently is on the path to healing. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1611993582301-WV3GUG6NYKVSWYEMEJYF/bruce-mars-wBuPCQiweuA-unsplash+%281%29.jpg Blog - How to sleep better. Tips for optimal rest. - And this is where I can come with some help as a trauma-informed mediation teacher. I have recorded several meditations that are specifically designed to help you reach optimal rest. Both my Yoga Nidra Meditation and the Meditation Bundle for Better Sleep support deep rest and use evidenced-based approaches that help improve the state of your nervous system to help you reach optimal rest. Yoga Nidra (yogic sleep) is the powerful practice of conscious rest that systematically relaxes and unwinds our physical, emotional, and mental tension. Yoga Nidra helps to break down these patterns through a guided bilateral body scan, breath awareness and visualizations to reach resting states usually only experienced in the deepest levels of sleep. True healing begins with deep rest. https://www.robyngraycounseling.com/blog/settling-in monthly 0.5 2021-01-30 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1612032017802-ZUE07DC7SNOZMLHLLNZM/christian-holzinger-X_RBAuAZhVE-unsplash.jpg Blog - How to be more present and in the moment - Try to be kind with yourself, stay open and get curious. How is my body feeling in this moment? Get descriptive beyond just "good/bad". What does "good" feel like? Warm, neutral, the absence of flighty? What does "bad" feel like? Prickly, numb, cold, tight? What is the quality of the sensation in my body right now? (temperative, shape, texture, density, weight, sound) If this area (body parts or physical sensation) could speak right now, what might it be saying? https://www.robyngraycounseling.com/blog/everything-you-think-your-body-feels monthly 0.5 2021-01-30 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1612032253479-ZZJ19ADHP1TGJHW3MTYU/anaya-katlego-4fRRYt1jotc-unsplash.jpg Blog - Mind body connection. How to use your body to help shift your mindset. - An invitation … Drop into your body and observe your overall felt sense ... What sensations are you aware of in your body? How's the quality of your breath? Bring curiosity to your posture and body position (are you slumped forward, caved in, holding yourself/crossing your arms, sitting up-right, relaxed, numb, etc.?) Track any desire to move in a certain way and then I invite you to act on that desire or if you prefer, just imagine acting on the desire. https://www.robyngraycounseling.com/blog/befriending-our-inner-critic monthly 0.5 2021-10-19 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1621202013111-N6ZKGG56C62GFVZY4W47/jasmin-chew-jw_TStbqDEQ-unsplash+%281%29.jpg Blog - How to work with your inner critic and break out of the cycle of shame. - 5 steps to help get you out of the shame spiral and into a place of self-compassion with your inner critic: 1. Name it & acknowledge it’s positive intent. "Hello Inner Critic (or whatever you choose to name it). I hear you. I'm aware of your presence in this moment. Thank you for showing up to protect me." 2. Be curious. Learn about it's function: how long it has been there, when it started, who's voice it's taken on (e.g. is this how someone else has spoken to you before?), what it looks like, how it feels in your body (e.g. tight chest, shallow breath, disconnection from body, tension, etc.) https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1621200122234-V32LBW97OZYYRX4W4RKM/toa-heftiba-XIAJd448FnY-unsplash.jpg Blog - How to work with your inner critic and break out of the cycle of shame. - This is an exhausting cycle and to be honest and it’s not a sustainable way of managing your critic. While I understand the appeal and desire to do this in an effort to avoid pain, hell, I used to approach my critic this way! It’s just not a long-term way of processing and more often than not, it’s causing you more pain and using more energy in the long run. I’m sure you’ve heard the concept that in order to get out of our own ways and viscous cycles, we must “Feel, deal, heal”, but how do we do we actually do this? While this quote is a simplistic way of looking at healing, it does touch on the need to feel in order to heal. Many of us compartmentalize and suppress in an effort to avoid being overwhelmed by our pain and the cruelty and harshness of the critic. So how to we actually feel into our critic without getting completely blended and stuck in the symptoms of the critic. https://www.robyngraycounseling.com/blog/three-ways-to-help-calm-your-mind monthly 0.5 2021-02-03 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1612033237221-XUFMPEKOM7E6SP0SEZ4B/priscilla-du-preez-H3FEQaGsKBY-unsplash.jpg Blog - 3 Ways to help quickly calm your mind - These 3 tools are ways to throw a wrench in your sticky thought patterns and instead, redirect and drop into the moment throughway of your environment and/or your body. They are what we call bottom-up approaches that work directly with your nervous system, which helps bring your body and mind to a calm and resourced state. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f1b86af195f36727ed35a77/1611994315752-WSBYSN9OYJMCQIDZ69CR/radu-florin-CwTBt6jyagQ-unsplash.jpg Blog - 3 Ways to help quickly calm your mind - Here are 3 ways to get out of your head and into the present moment: 1. Notice how your body is breathing for you. By simply doing this, we are moving into a different part of our brain and being the observer of our experience vs. consumed by it. Next, see what it feels like to focus on your exhale. Feel free to just do this or if you want to experiment a little more, see if you can start to add length to your exhale. Try this: Inhale (4 counts); exhale (6 counts). Notice what, if anything, feels different. 2. Scan your body with your breath and notice what parts of you feel supported. Start by noticing your back again the chair or couch that you're sitting on. Or maybe your feet being supported by the ground. Or maybe placing your palms on top of your thighs and feel the weight/temperature of your hands on your body. 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